Just Say No to Meat: When Beef Goes Bad Part 1-Shaq vs Kobe

Do you remember the days when beefs were as exciting as the first 10 seconds of a Mike Tyson fight? You know, beefs like Jay-Z vs. Nas, Ice Cube vs. N.W.A., Oprah vs. Hip-Hop, and Michael Jackson vs. Little Boys (OK, that was pretty low-we all luv Mike, but R.Kelly-not so much). But the point is that we kind of looked forward to see who would come out on top with the best line, rebuttal, or law suite. But beef has taken a scary turn of late. Someone recently made the foolish decision of allowing Shaq to pick up a mic again (Didn’t the album Shaq Fu: Da Return teach us anything about allowing a 7-foot NBA center to rap?). Well, in a disgustingly awful freestyle, Shaq called out Kobe by saying “Last week, Kobe couldn’t do without me,” and “Kobe ratted me out. That’s why I’m getting divorced (referring to Kobe snitching on Shaq after being questioned by police a few years back).” Now this entire ordeal makes for great comedy because it continues to take on an idiotic life of its own. Apparently Shaq has been stripped of his special deputy badge by Sheriff Joe Arpaio who didn’t like the fact that Shaq said, “That’s like a white boy tryin to be more nigga than me.” So Shaq’s wack azz rap has fueled an already wack azz beef and caused him to lose his wack azz Sheriff badges. I mean for real, did Shaq really think he was going to be the next coming of T.J. Hooker because he already knows that he could never be as good as Young MC? Instead of busting freestyles about a beef that should have died when he departed for Miami a few years back, Shaq should be in someone’s gym practicing free throws or finding a way to salvage the last days of his faltering NBA career. And this is not in defense of Kobe (but a response on wax would make this even more hilarious), this is in defense of beef. I’m all for legitimate battles that are historically significant and seriously intriguing. Shaq vs. Kobe causes me to chuckle at a millionaire who apparently needs an off-season hobby.