2008 was an interesting year. We learned that CNN can be fun, OJ should’ve left the country, Beyonce is unstoppable, the “A Milli” beat is a musical cure-all, Some athletes hate money (Plaxico, Pacman), Tyler Perry can bring Hollywood to the hood (Greenbriar Stand Up), The Wire will be missed, Erykah Badu’s album was the truth—so was Lupe’s, Sarah Palin may not be smarter than a 5th grader, the Olympics should’ve been renamed the Bolt and Phelps Show, R. Kelly maybe Irish (lucky bastard), and gas can be too expensive(4.25 per gallon) and affordable(1.59 per gallon) in the same year! Here are a few other things that we learned in 2008.
A Black Man Can Become the Most Powerful Person on the Planet
An Oscar-winning screenwriter couldn’t have written a better a script. A young mixed race kid is born to a single mother and raised mostly by his white grandparents in an apartment in Hawaii. The kid dabbles into drugs and alcohol to fit in as a teen. He cleans up his act, attends Columbia, Harvard and moves to the Chi-Town where he meets a woman named Michelle. They get married, have kids, he practices law, and eventually gets into politics. He losses to Bobby Rush in 2000, but is elected to US Senate in 2004. Announces run for presidency and dodges Rev. Wright controversy, defeats Hillary Clinton, John McCain and Sarah Palin. November 4th happens….Can’t wait to see the movie!
Keyshia Cole’s Reality Show is Television Crack
I didn’t want to watch it. I tried my best to stay away. But it caught me one fateful night as I was searching through the channels. Neffe was hollering at anyone near as tears were running down her chap lips. Frankie was yelling, eating Popeye’s chicken, showing off her 20-year-old boyfriend and saying, “HOLLER!” Keyshia was busting guns, working out in skimpy outfits, and always seemed as if she was on the verge of cussing out her sister or mother. Before I knew it, I was hooked. The more I watched Keyshia Cole’s The Way It Is, the more I felt like Pookie in that scene in New Jack City when he gets back on the crack pipe. I must now rehab by watching 12 straight hours of CNN and C-Span.
Real Gangstas and Thugs Don’t Make Music, They Work on Wall Street
Rick Ross never sold drugs (once a correctional officer) and Plies is not a goon(attended the University of South Florida). However, there are a few greedy white men in business suits who managed to pull a drive by on the nation’s financial stability. But it wasn’t over after the jack move was exposed. The government decided to bail those same crooks out by giving them billions of taxpayer’s dollars so that there companies (auto industry, banks, and mortgage firms) could stay afloat. Isn’t that a form of welfare? However, average citizens are losing their jobs everyday and still forced to pay their mortgages, school loans or car payments with little or no assistance from our good ole government. Maybe I should become a Wall Street G in 2009.
Riding Marta Can Be Dangerous…Or Entertaining
For all of my people who grew up in the A, the Marta “Soljah” Girl was nothing new. I’ve seen fights, a tongue-less preacher, an impersonator who dressed up as James Brown and danced, a guy who thought he played for the Atlanta Braves, and I’ve heard of people who’ve had sexual encounters on trains and in the train stations. So when the nation got a chance to see the Marta “Soljah” Girl do her thing via You Tube, I wasn’t too surprised. But this time, it just happened to be caught on camera. It was hands down the best viral video of 2008.
Auto Tune Must Be Destroyed!
It was cool when T-Pain reached into the Roger Troutman and Teddy Riley bag of music making by using auto-tune a few years back. But then he showed his new toy to his friends. Before we knew it, Lil Wayne, P. Diddy, and newcomers like Ron Browz decided to use the voice enhancing system. But when Kanye released 808’s, I figured it was time for engineers across the world to destroy auto-tune. Kudo’s to West for taking a chance as an artist, but the entire album sounded as if he was singing in the fan. In 5 years, auto-tune will be like Puffy’s shinny suits in the late-`90s. We all will be saying, “What the hell were they thinking?”
Happy New Year! I Wonder What Will Edutain Us in 2009...
